[{"id":1,"type":"general","setup":"What did the fish say when it hit the wall?","punchline":"Dam."},{"id":2,"type":"general","setup":"How do you make a tissue dance?","punchline":"You put a little boogie on it."},{"id":3,"type":"general","setup":"What's Forrest Gump's password?","punchline":"1Forrest1"},{"id":4,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a belt made out of watches?","punchline":"A waist of time."},{"id":5,"type":"general","setup":"Why can't bicycles stand on their own?","punchline":"They are two tired"},{"id":6,"type":"general","setup":"How does a train eat?","punchline":"It goes chew, chew"},{"id":7,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a singing Laptop","punchline":"A Dell"},{"id":8,"type":"general","setup":"How many lips does a flower have?","punchline":"Tulips"},{"id":9,"type":"general","setup":"How do you organize an outer space party?","punchline":"You planet"},{"id":10,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of shoes does a thief wear?","punchline":"Sneakers"},{"id":11,"type":"general","setup":"What's the best time to go to the dentist?","punchline":"Tooth hurty."},{"id":12,"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n A broken pencil. \n A broken pencil who?","punchline":"Never mind. It's pointless."},{"id":13,"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Cows go. \n Cows go who?","punchline":"No, cows go moo."},{"id":14,"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Little old lady. \n Little old lady who?","punchline":"I didn't know you could yodel!"},{"id":15,"type":"programming","setup":"What's the best thing about a Boolean?","punchline":"Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit."},{"id":16,"type":"programming","setup":"What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy?","punchline":"Inheritance"},{"id":17,"type":"programming","setup":"Where do programmers like to hangout?","punchline":"The Foo Bar."},{"id":18,"type":"programming","setup":"Why did the programmer quit his job?","punchline":"Because he didn't get arrays."},{"id":19,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?","punchline":"It ended in a tie."},{"id":20,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a laughing motorcycle?","punchline":"A Yamahahahaha."},{"id":21,"type":"general","setup":"A termite walks into a bar and says...","punchline":"'Where is the bar tended?'"},{"id":22,"type":"general","setup":"What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe?","punchline":"Narnia business!"},{"id":23,"type":"programming","setup":"Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?","punchline":"Because Oct 31 == Dec 25"},{"id":24,"type":"programming","setup":"A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks...","punchline":"'Can I join you?'"},{"id":25,"type":"programming","setup":"How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"None that's a hardware problem"},{"id":26,"type":"programming","setup":"If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program","punchline":"the rest of them will write Perl"},{"id":27,"type":"programming","setup":"['hip', 'hip']","punchline":"(hip hip array)"},{"id":28,"type":"programming","setup":"To understand what recursion is...","punchline":"You must first understand what recursion is"},{"id":29,"type":"programming","setup":"There are 10 types of people in this world...","punchline":"Those who understand binary and those who don't"},{"id":30,"type":"general","setup":"What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?","punchline":"Put it on my bill"},{"id":31,"type":"general","setup":"What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?","punchline":"It gets toad away"},{"id":32,"type":"general","setup":"did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?","punchline":"they were cooked in Greece"},{"id":33,"type":"programming","setup":"Which song would an exception sing?","punchline":"Can't catch me - Avicii"},{"id":34,"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Opportunity.","punchline":"That is impossible. Opportunity doesn’t come knocking twice!"},{"id":35,"type":"programming","setup":"Why do Java programmers wear glasses?","punchline":"Because they don't C#"},{"id":36,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?","punchline":"Because he was a fungi."},{"id":37,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?","punchline":"Because he was a fungi."},{"id":38,"type":"general","setup":"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...","punchline":"It's impossible to put down"},{"id":39,"type":"general","setup":"If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?","punchline":"European"},{"id":40,"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?","punchline":"Never mind...it's tearable"},{"id":41,"type":"general","setup":"I just watched a documentary about beavers.","punchline":"It was the best dam show I ever saw"},{"id":42,"type":"general","setup":"If you see a robbery at an Apple Store...","punchline":"Does that make you an iWitness?"},{"id":43,"type":"general","setup":"A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...","punchline":"I'm sorry, we don't serve food here"},{"id":44,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?","punchline":"Because he was a little horse"},{"id":45,"type":"general","setup":"If you boil a clown...","punchline":"Do you get a laughing stock?"},{"id":46,"type":"general","setup":"Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...","punchline":"He loves his pot."},{"id":47,"type":"general","setup":"Don't look at the eclipse through a colander.","punchline":"You'll strain your eyes."},{"id":48,"type":"general","setup":"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.","punchline":"I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!"},{"id":49,"type":"general","setup":"Why do chicken coops only have two doors?","punchline":"Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans"},{"id":50,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a factory that sells passable products?","punchline":"A satisfactory"},{"id":51,"type":"general","setup":"When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?","punchline":"Yep, people are just dying to get in there"},{"id":52,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?","punchline":"He couldn't see himself doing it"},{"id":53,"type":"general","setup":"How do you make holy water?","punchline":"You boil the hell out of it"},{"id":54,"type":"general","setup":"I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.","punchline":"I woke up exhausted!"},{"id":55,"type":"general","setup":"Why is peter pan always flying?","punchline":"Because he neverlands"},{"id":56,"type":"programming","setup":"How do you check if a webpage is HTML5?","punchline":"Try it out on Internet Explorer"},{"id":57,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a cow with no legs?","punchline":"Ground beef!"},{"id":58,"type":"general","setup":"I dropped a pear in my car this morning.","punchline":"You should drop another one, then you would have a pair."},{"id":59,"type":"general","setup":"Lady: How do I spread love in this cruel world?","punchline":"Random Dude: [...💘]"},{"id":60,"type":"programming","setup":"A user interface is like a joke.","punchline":"If you have to explain it then it is not that good."},{"id":61,"type":"knock-knock","setup":"Knock knock. \n Who's there? \n Hatch. \n Hatch who?","punchline":"Bless you!"},{"id":62,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call sad coffee?","punchline":"Despresso."},{"id":63,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?","punchline":"To make ends meat."},{"id":64,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the hungry clock?","punchline":"It went back four seconds."},{"id":65,"type":"general","setup":"Well...","punchline":"That’s a deep subject."},{"id":66,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?","punchline":"It was legend dairy."},{"id":67,"type":"general","setup":"Did you watch the new comic book movie?","punchline":"It was very graphic!"},{"id":68,"type":"general","setup":"I started a new business making yachts in my attic this year...","punchline":"The sails are going through the roof."},{"id":69,"type":"general","setup":"I got hit in the head by a soda can, but it didn't hurt that much...","punchline":"It was a soft drink."},{"id":70,"type":"general","setup":"I can't tell if i like this blender...","punchline":"It keeps giving me mixed results."},{"id":71,"type":"general","setup":"I couldn't get a reservation at the library...","punchline":"They were fully booked."},{"id":72,"type":"programming","setup":"I was gonna tell you a joke about UDP...","punchline":"...but you might not get it."},{"id":73,"type":"programming","setup":"The punchline often arrives before the set-up.","punchline":"Do you know the problem with UDP jokes?"},{"id":74,"type":"programming","setup":"Why do C# and Java developers keep breaking their keyboards?","punchline":"Because they use a strongly typed language."},{"id":75,"type":"general","setup":"What do you give to a lemon in need?","punchline":"Lemonaid."},{"id":76,"type":"general","setup":"Never take advice from electrons.","punchline":"They are always negative."},{"id":78,"type":"general","setup":"Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?","punchline":"No, I got them all cut."},{"id":79,"type":"general","setup":"What time is it?","punchline":"I don't know... it keeps changing."},{"id":80,"type":"general","setup":"A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, \"Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?\"","punchline":"Pop,goes the weasel."},{"id":81,"type":"general","setup":"Bad at golf?","punchline":"Join the club."},{"id":82,"type":"general","setup":"Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?","punchline":"Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump."},{"id":83,"type":"general","setup":"Can February march?","punchline":"No, but April may."},{"id":84,"type":"general","setup":"Can I watch the TV?","punchline":"Yes, but don’t turn it on."},{"id":85,"type":"general","setup":"Dad, can you put my shoes on?","punchline":"I don't think they'll fit me."},{"id":86,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?","punchline":"They say the business is toast."},{"id":87,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?","punchline":"They had a reptile dysfunction."},{"id":88,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France?","punchline":"There was nothing left but de Brie."},{"id":89,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the cow who jumped over the barbed wire fence?","punchline":"It was udder destruction."},{"id":90,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?","punchline":"They say he made a mint."},{"id":91,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?","punchline":"He's all right now."},{"id":92,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?","punchline":"It's ok, he woke up."},{"id":93,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?","punchline":"He had loco motives"},{"id":94,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?","punchline":"The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere."},{"id":95,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the runner who was criticized?","punchline":"He just took it in stride"},{"id":96,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?","punchline":"He had a very esteemed colleague."},{"id":97,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear about the submarine industry?","punchline":"It really took a dive..."},{"id":98,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear that David lost his ID in prague?","punchline":"Now we just have to call him Dav."},{"id":99,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?","punchline":"It reads \"Small medium at large.\""},{"id":100,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the joke about the wandering nun?","punchline":"She was a roman catholic."},{"id":101,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the news?","punchline":"FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on."},{"id":102,"type":"general","setup":"Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid?","punchline":"Neither did he."},{"id":103,"type":"general","setup":"Did you know crocodiles could grow up to 15 feet?","punchline":"But most just have 4."},{"id":104,"type":"general","setup":"What do ghosts call their true love?","punchline":"Their ghoul-friend"},{"id":105,"type":"general","setup":"Did you know that protons have mass?","punchline":"I didn't even know they were catholic."},{"id":106,"type":"general","setup":"Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?","punchline":"Just in case you get a hole in one."},{"id":107,"type":"general","setup":"Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?","punchline":"Guilty"},{"id":108,"type":"general","setup":"Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk?","punchline":"The stock market."},{"id":109,"type":"general","setup":"Do you want a brief explanation of what an acorn is?","punchline":"In a nutshell, it's an oak tree."},{"id":110,"type":"general","setup":"Ever wondered why bees hum?","punchline":"It's because they don't know the words."},{"id":111,"type":"general","setup":"Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane?","punchline":"They mostly wrap."},{"id":112,"type":"general","setup":"Have you heard of the band 1023MB?","punchline":"They haven't got a gig yet."},{"id":113,"type":"general","setup":"Have you heard the rumor going around about butter?","punchline":"Never mind, I shouldn't spread it."},{"id":114,"type":"general","setup":"How are false teeth like stars?","punchline":"They come out at night!"},{"id":115,"type":"general","setup":"How can you tell a vampire has a cold?","punchline":"They start coffin."},{"id":116,"type":"general","setup":"How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?","punchline":"He was a good conductor."},{"id":117,"type":"general","setup":"How come the stadium got hot after the game?","punchline":"Because all of the fans left."},{"id":118,"type":"general","setup":"How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?","punchline":"He felt his presents."},{"id":119,"type":"general","setup":"How did the hipster burn the roof of his mouth?","punchline":"He ate the pizza before it was cool."},{"id":120,"type":"general","setup":"How do hens stay fit?","punchline":"They always egg-cercise!"},{"id":121,"type":"general","setup":"How do locomotives know where they're going?","punchline":"Lots of training"},{"id":122,"type":"general","setup":"How do the trees get on the internet?","punchline":"They log on."},{"id":123,"type":"general","setup":"How do you find Will Smith in the snow?","punchline":" Look for fresh prints."},{"id":124,"type":"general","setup":"How do you fix a broken pizza?","punchline":"With tomato paste."},{"id":125,"type":"general","setup":"How do you fix a damaged jack-o-lantern?","punchline":"You use a pumpkin patch."},{"id":126,"type":"general","setup":"How do you get a baby alien to sleep?","punchline":" You rocket."},{"id":127,"type":"general","setup":"How do you get two whales in a car?","punchline":"Start in England and drive West."},{"id":128,"type":"general","setup":"How do you know if there’s an elephant under your bed?","punchline":"Your head hits the ceiling!"},{"id":129,"type":"general","setup":"How do you make a hankie dance?","punchline":"Put a little boogie in it."},{"id":130,"type":"general","setup":"How do you make holy water?","punchline":"You boil the hell out of it."},{"id":131,"type":"general","setup":"How do you organize a space party?","punchline":"You planet."},{"id":132,"type":"general","setup":"How do you steal a coat?","punchline":"You jacket."},{"id":133,"type":"general","setup":"How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?","punchline":"You will see one later and one in a while."},{"id":134,"type":"general","setup":"How does a dyslexic poet write?","punchline":"Inverse."},{"id":135,"type":"general","setup":"How does a French skeleton say hello?","punchline":"Bone-jour."},{"id":136,"type":"general","setup":"How does a penguin build it’s house?","punchline":"Igloos it together."},{"id":137,"type":"general","setup":"How does a scientist freshen their breath?","punchline":"With experi-mints!"},{"id":138,"type":"general","setup":"How does the moon cut his hair?","punchline":"Eclipse it."},{"id":139,"type":"general","setup":"How many apples grow on a tree?","punchline":"All of them!"},{"id":140,"type":"general","setup":"How many bones are in the human hand?","punchline":"A handful of them."},{"id":141,"type":"general","setup":"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."},{"id":142,"type":"general","setup":"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"Let's go ride bikes!"},{"id":143,"type":"general","setup":"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?","punchline":"1 or 2? 1... or 2?"},{"id":144,"type":"general","setup":"How many seconds are in a year?","punchline":"12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc"},{"id":145,"type":"general","setup":"How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?","punchline":"A Brazilian"},{"id":146,"type":"general","setup":"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?","punchline":"Ten-tickles!"},{"id":147,"type":"general","setup":"How much does a hipster weigh?","punchline":"An instagram."},{"id":148,"type":"general","setup":"How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?","punchline":"A little shaken."},{"id":149,"type":"general","setup":"Is the pool safe for diving?","punchline":"It deep ends."},{"id":150,"type":"general","setup":"Is there a hole in your shoe?","punchline":"No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?"},{"id":151,"type":"general","setup":"What did the spaghetti say to the other spaghetti?","punchline":"Pasta la vista, baby!"},{"id":152,"type":"general","setup":"What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?","punchline":"200 Dollars."},{"id":153,"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear a chimney joke?","punchline":"Got stacks of em! First one's on the house"},{"id":154,"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear a joke about construction?","punchline":"Nah, I'm still working on it."},{"id":155,"type":"general","setup":"Want to hear my pizza joke?","punchline":"Never mind, it's too cheesy."},{"id":156,"type":"general","setup":"What animal is always at a game of cricket?","punchline":"A bat."},{"id":157,"type":"general","setup":"What are the strongest days of the week?","punchline":"Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays."},{"id":158,"type":"general","setup":"What biscuit does a short person like?","punchline":"Shortbread. "},{"id":159,"type":"general","setup":"What cheese can never be yours?","punchline":"Nacho cheese."},{"id":160,"type":"general","setup":"What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?","punchline":"A spelling bee."},{"id":161,"type":"general","setup":"What did celery say when he broke up with his girlfriend?","punchline":"She wasn't right for me, so I really don't carrot all."},{"id":162,"type":"general","setup":"What did Michael Jackson name his denim store?","punchline":"   Billy Jeans!"},{"id":163,"type":"general","setup":"What did one nut say as he chased another nut?","punchline":" I'm a cashew!"},{"id":164,"type":"general","setup":"What did one plate say to the other plate?","punchline":"Dinner is on me!"},{"id":165,"type":"general","setup":"What did one snowman say to the other snow man?","punchline":"Do you smell carrot?"},{"id":166,"type":"general","setup":"What did one wall say to the other wall?","punchline":"I'll meet you at the corner!"},{"id":167,"type":"general","setup":"What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?","punchline":"Lil Caesars"},{"id":168,"type":"general","setup":"What did the 0 say to the 8?","punchline":"Nice belt."},{"id":169,"type":"general","setup":"What did the beaver say to the tree?","punchline":"It's been nice gnawing you."},{"id":170,"type":"general","setup":"What did the big flower say to the littler flower?","punchline":"Hi, bud!"},{"id":180,"type":"general","setup":"What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school?","punchline":"Bison."},{"id":181,"type":"general","setup":"What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?","punchline":"Look, no hands!"},{"id":182,"type":"general","setup":"What did the dog say to the two trees?","punchline":"Bark bark."},{"id":183,"type":"general","setup":"What did the Dorito farmer say to the other Dorito farmer?","punchline":"Cool Ranch!"},{"id":184,"type":"general","setup":"What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?","punchline":"Damn!"},{"id":185,"type":"general","setup":"What did the grape do when he got stepped on?","punchline":"He let out a little wine."},{"id":186,"type":"general","setup":"What did the judge say to the dentist?","punchline":"Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?"},{"id":187,"type":"general","setup":"What did the late tomato say to the early tomato?","punchline":"I’ll ketch up"},{"id":188,"type":"general","setup":"What did the left eye say to the right eye?","punchline":"Between us, something smells!"},{"id":189,"type":"general","setup":"What did the ocean say to the beach?","punchline":"Thanks for all the sediment."},{"id":190,"type":"general","setup":"What did the ocean say to the shore?","punchline":"Nothing, it just waved."},{"id":191,"type":"general","setup":"Why don't you find hippopotamuses hiding in trees?","punchline":"They're really good at it."},{"id":192,"type":"general","setup":"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?","punchline":"Aye Matey!"},{"id":193,"type":"general","setup":"What did the Red light say to the Green light?","punchline":"Don't look at me I'm changing!"},{"id":194,"type":"general","setup":"What did the scarf say to the hat?","punchline":"You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer."},{"id":195,"type":"general","setup":"What did the shy pebble wish for?","punchline":"That she was a little boulder."},{"id":196,"type":"general","setup":"What did the traffic light say to the car as it passed?","punchline":"Don't look I'm changing!"},{"id":197,"type":"general","setup":"What did the Zen Buddist say to the hotdog vendor?","punchline":"Make me one with everything."},{"id":198,"type":"general","setup":"What do birds give out on Halloween?","punchline":"Tweets."},{"id":199,"type":"general","setup":"What do I look like?","punchline":"A JOKE MACHINE!?"},{"id":200,"type":"general","setup":"What do prisoners use to call each other?","punchline":"Cell phones."},{"id":201,"type":"general","setup":"What do vegetarian zombies eat?","punchline":"Grrrrrainnnnnssss."},{"id":202,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a bear with no teeth?","punchline":"A gummy bear!"},{"id":203,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a bee that lives in America?","punchline":"A USB."},{"id":204,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?","punchline":"A stick."},{"id":205,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a careful wolf?","punchline":"Aware wolf."},{"id":206,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a cow on a trampoline?","punchline":"A milk shake!"},{"id":207,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a cow with no legs?","punchline":"Ground beef."},{"id":208,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a cow with two legs?","punchline":"Lean beef."},{"id":209,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a crowd of chess players bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?","punchline":"Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."},{"id":210,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice?","punchline":"A Popsicle."},{"id":211,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a dictionary on drugs?","punchline":"High definition."},{"id":212,"type":"general","setup":"what do you call a dog that can do magic tricks?","punchline":"a labracadabrador"},{"id":213,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?","punchline":"R2 detour."},{"id":214,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a duck that gets all A's?","punchline":"A wise quacker."},{"id":215,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fake noodle?","punchline":"An impasta."},{"id":216,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?","punchline":"A metro-gnome"},{"id":217,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fat psychic?","punchline":"A four-chin teller."},{"id":218,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a fly without wings?","punchline":"A walk."},{"id":219,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a girl between two posts?","punchline":"Annette."},{"id":220,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a group of disorganized cats?","punchline":"A cat-tastrophe."},{"id":221,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?","punchline":"An Orca-stra."},{"id":222,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a monkey in a mine field?","punchline":"A babooooom!"},{"id":223,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?","punchline":"Shakespeare."},{"id":224,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a pig that knows karate?","punchline":"A pork chop!"},{"id":225,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a pig with three eyes?","punchline":"Piiig"},{"id":226,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a pile of cats?","punchline":" A Meowtain."},{"id":227,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a sheep with no legs?","punchline":"A cloud."},{"id":228,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call a troublesome Canadian high schooler?","punchline":"A poutine."},{"id":229,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an alligator in a vest?","punchline":"An in-vest-igator!"},{"id":230,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?","punchline":"Roberto"},{"id":231,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an eagle who can play the piano?","punchline":"Talonted!"},{"id":232,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?","punchline":"An irrelephant."},{"id":233,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call an old snowman?","punchline":"Water."},{"id":234,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call cheese by itself?","punchline":"Provolone."},{"id":235,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call corn that joins the army?","punchline":"Kernel."},{"id":236,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call someone with no nose?","punchline":"Nobody knows."},{"id":237,"type":"general","setup":"What do you call two barracuda fish?","punchline":" A Pairacuda!"},{"id":238,"type":"general","setup":"What do you do on a remote island?","punchline":"Try and find the TV island it belongs to."},{"id":239,"type":"general","setup":"What do you do when you see a space man?","punchline":"Park your car, man."},{"id":240,"type":"general","setup":"What do you get hanging from Apple trees?","punchline":"Sore arms."},{"id":241,"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?","punchline":"A bah-humbug."},{"id":242,"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a chicken with a skunk?","punchline":"A fowl smell!"},{"id":243,"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?","punchline":"Hare spray."},{"id":244,"type":"general","setup":"What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?","punchline":"Frostbite."},{"id":245,"type":"general","setup":"What do you give a sick lemon?","punchline":"Lemonaid."},{"id":246,"type":"general","setup":"What does a clock do when it's hungry?","punchline":"It goes back four seconds!"},{"id":247,"type":"general","setup":"What does a female snake use for support?","punchline":"A co-Bra!"},{"id":248,"type":"general","setup":"What does a pirate pay for his corn?","punchline":"A buccaneer!"},{"id":249,"type":"general","setup":"What does an angry pepper do?","punchline":"It gets jalapeño face."},{"id":250,"type":"general","setup":"What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?","punchline":"It gets toad."},{"id":251,"type":"general","setup":"What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?","punchline":"They will give you a piece of your mind."},{"id":252,"type":"general","setup":"What has ears but cannot hear?","punchline":"A field of corn."},{"id":253,"type":"general","setup":"What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?","punchline":" I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand..."},{"id":254,"type":"general","setup":"What is a tornado's favorite game to play?","punchline":"Twister!"},{"id":255,"type":"general","setup":"What is a vampire's favorite fruit?","punchline":"A blood orange."},{"id":256,"type":"general","setup":"What is a witch's favorite subject in school?","punchline":"Spelling!"},{"id":257,"type":"general","setup":"What is red and smells like blue paint?","punchline":"Red paint!"},{"id":258,"type":"general","setup":"What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?","punchline":"I don't know and I don't care."},{"id":259,"type":"general","setup":"What is the hardest part about sky diving?","punchline":"The ground."},{"id":260,"type":"general","setup":"What is the leading cause of dry skin?","punchline":"Towels"},{"id":261,"type":"general","setup":"What is the least spoken language in the world?","punchline":"Sign Language"},{"id":262,"type":"general","setup":"What is the tallest building in the world?","punchline":"The library, it’s got the most stories!"},{"id":263,"type":"general","setup":"What is this movie about?","punchline":"It is about 2 hours long."},{"id":264,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of award did the dentist receive?","punchline":"A little plaque."},{"id":265,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of bagel can fly?","punchline":"A plain bagel."},{"id":266,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?","punchline":"A stega-snore-us."},{"id":267,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?","punchline":"A Fermilabrador Retriever."},{"id":268,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of magic do cows believe in?","punchline":"MOODOO."},{"id":269,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of music do planets listen to?","punchline":"Nep-tunes."},{"id":270,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of pants do ghosts wear?","punchline":"Boo jeans."},{"id":271,"type":"general","setup":"What kind of tree fits in your hand?","punchline":"A palm tree!"},{"id":272,"type":"general","setup":"What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?","punchline":"A nervous wreck."},{"id":273,"type":"general","setup":"What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?","punchline":"A tuba toothpaste."},{"id":274,"type":"general","setup":"What time did the man go to the dentist?","punchline":"Tooth hurt-y."},{"id":275,"type":"general","setup":"What type of music do balloons hate?","punchline":"Pop music!"},{"id":276,"type":"general","setup":"What was a more important invention than the first telephone?","punchline":"The second one."},{"id":277,"type":"general","setup":"What was the pumpkin’s favorite sport?","punchline":"Squash."},{"id":278,"type":"general","setup":"What's black and white and read all over?","punchline":"The newspaper."},{"id":279,"type":"general","setup":"What's blue and not very heavy?","punchline":" Light blue."},{"id":280,"type":"general","setup":"What's brown and sticky?","punchline":"A stick."},{"id":281,"type":"general","setup":"What's orange and sounds like a parrot?","punchline":"A Carrot."},{"id":282,"type":"general","setup":"What's red and bad for your teeth?","punchline":"A Brick."},{"id":283,"type":"general","setup":"What's the best thing about elevator jokes?","punchline":"They work on so many levels."},{"id":284,"type":"general","setup":"What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?","punchline":"You can tune a guitar but you can't \"tuna\"fish!"},{"id":285,"type":"general","setup":"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?","punchline":"One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter."},{"id":286,"type":"general","setup":"What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?","punchline":"An ion! "},{"id":287,"type":"general","setup":"What's the worst part about being a cross-eyed teacher?","punchline":"They can't control their pupils."},{"id":288,"type":"general","setup":"What's the worst thing about ancient history class?","punchline":"The teachers tend to Babylon."},{"id":289,"type":"general","setup":"What’s brown and sounds like a bell?","punchline":"Dung!"},{"id":290,"type":"general","setup":"What’s E.T. short for?","punchline":"He’s only got little legs."},{"id":291,"type":"general","setup":"What’s Forest Gump’s Facebook password?","punchline":"1forest1"},{"id":292,"type":"general","setup":"What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?","punchline":"Well, the flag is a big plus."},{"id":293,"type":"general","setup":"What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?","punchline":"About 5000 miles."},{"id":294,"type":"general","setup":"When do doctors get angry?","punchline":"When they run out of patients."},{"id":295,"type":"general","setup":"When does a joke become a dad joke?","punchline":"When it becomes apparent."},{"id":296,"type":"general","setup":"When is a door not a door?","punchline":"When it's ajar."},{"id":297,"type":"general","setup":"Where did you learn to make ice cream?","punchline":"Sunday school."},{"id":298,"type":"general","setup":"Where do bees go to the bathroom?","punchline":" The BP station."},{"id":299,"type":"general","setup":"Where do hamburgers go to dance?","punchline":"The meat-ball."},{"id":300,"type":"general","setup":"Where do rabbits go after they get married?","punchline":"On a bunny-moon."},{"id":301,"type":"general","setup":"Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?","punchline":"The baa-baa shop."},{"id":302,"type":"general","setup":"Where do you learn to make banana splits?","punchline":"At sundae school."},{"id":303,"type":"general","setup":"Where do young cows eat lunch?","punchline":"In the calf-ateria."},{"id":304,"type":"general","setup":"Where does batman go to the bathroom?","punchline":"The batroom."},{"id":305,"type":"general","setup":"Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?","punchline":"Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy."},{"id":306,"type":"general","setup":"Where does Napoleon keep his armies?","punchline":"In his sleevies."},{"id":307,"type":"general","setup":"Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?","punchline":"At the bottom! "},{"id":308,"type":"general","setup":"Where’s the bin?","punchline":"I haven’t been anywhere!"},{"id":309,"type":"general","setup":"Which side of the chicken has more feathers?","punchline":"The outside."},{"id":310,"type":"general","setup":"Who did the wizard marry?","punchline":"His ghoul-friend"},{"id":311,"type":"general","setup":"Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?","punchline":"The hip Doctor!"},{"id":312,"type":"general","setup":"Why are fish easy to weigh?","punchline":"Because they have their own scales."},{"id":313,"type":"general","setup":"Why are fish so smart?","punchline":"Because they live in schools!"},{"id":314,"type":"general","setup":"Why are ghosts bad liars?","punchline":"Because you can see right through them!"},{"id":315,"type":"general","setup":"Why are graveyards so noisy?","punchline":"Because of all the coffin."},{"id":316,"type":"general","setup":"Why are mummys scared of vacation?","punchline":"They're afraid to unwind."},{"id":317,"type":"general","setup":"Why are oranges the smartest fruit?","punchline":"Because they are made to concentrate. "},{"id":318,"type":"general","setup":"Why are pirates called pirates?","punchline":"Because they arrr!"},{"id":319,"type":"general","setup":"Why are skeletons so calm?","punchline":"Because nothing gets under their skin."},{"id":320,"type":"general","setup":"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?","punchline":"It's two-tired."},{"id":321,"type":"general","setup":"Why can't you use \"Beef stew\"as a password?","punchline":"Because it's not stroganoff."},{"id":322,"type":"general","setup":"Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?","punchline":"Because then it'd be a foot!"},{"id":323,"type":"general","setup":"Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?","punchline":"The p is silent."},{"id":324,"type":"general","setup":"Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?","punchline":"Because it was rated arrr!"},{"id":325,"type":"general","setup":"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?","punchline":"He was too far out, man."},{"id":326,"type":"general","setup":"Why did Dracula lie in the wrong coffin?","punchline":"He made a grave mistake."},{"id":327,"type":"general","setup":"Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?","punchline":"So they could Scandinavian."},{"id":328,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the A go to the bathroom and come out as an E?","punchline":"Because he had a vowel movement."},{"id":329,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the barber win the race?","punchline":"He took a short cut."},{"id":330,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the belt go to prison?","punchline":"He held up a pair of pants!"},{"id":331,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?","punchline":"To prove that he was framed!"},{"id":332,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the chicken get a penalty?","punchline":"For fowl play."},{"id":333,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?","punchline":"Because he was a little horse!"},{"id":334,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the coffee file a police report?","punchline":"It got mugged."},{"id":335,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the cookie cry?","punchline":"Because his mother was a wafer so long"},{"id":336,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the cookie cry?","punchline":"It was feeling crumby."},{"id":337,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the cowboy have a weiner dog?","punchline":"Somebody told him to get a long little doggy."},{"id":338,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the fireman wear red, white, and blue suspenders?","punchline":"To hold his pants up."},{"id":339,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?","punchline":"To go with the traffic jam."},{"id":340,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the half blind man fall in the well?","punchline":"Because he couldn't see that well!"},{"id":341,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the house go to the doctor?","punchline":"It was having window panes."},{"id":342,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the kid cross the playground?","punchline":"To get to the other slide."},{"id":343,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the man put his money in the freezer?","punchline":"He wanted cold hard cash!"},{"id":344,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the man run around his bed?","punchline":"Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!"},{"id":345,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the melons plan a big wedding?","punchline":"Because they cantaloupe!"},{"id":346,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?","punchline":"Because it was well armed."},{"id":347,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the opera singer go sailing?","punchline":"They wanted to hit the high Cs."},{"id":348,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the scarecrow win an award?","punchline":"Because he was outstanding in his field."},{"id":349,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the tomato blush?","punchline":"Because it saw the salad dressing."},{"id":350,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the tree go to the dentist?","punchline":"It needed a root canal."},{"id":351,"type":"general","setup":"Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?","punchline":"Lack of concentration."},{"id":352,"type":"general","setup":"Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?","punchline":"Because he is 2 square."},{"id":353,"type":"general","setup":"Why didn’t the orange win the race?","punchline":"It ran out of juice."},{"id":354,"type":"general","setup":"Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?","punchline":"Because he had no guts."},{"id":355,"type":"general","setup":"Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?","punchline":"Because they might peel!"},{"id":356,"type":"general","setup":"Why do bears have hairy coats?","punchline":"Fur protection."},{"id":357,"type":"general","setup":"Why do bees have sticky hair?","punchline":"Because they use honey combs!"},{"id":358,"type":"general","setup":"Why do bees hum?","punchline":"Because they don't know the words."},{"id":359,"type":"general","setup":"Why do birds fly south for the winter?","punchline":"Because it's too far to walk."},{"id":360,"type":"general","setup":"Why do choirs keep buckets handy?","punchline":"So they can carry their tune"},{"id":361,"type":"general","setup":"Why do crabs never give to charity?","punchline":"Because they’re shellfish."},{"id":362,"type":"general","setup":"Why do ducks make great detectives?","punchline":"They always quack the case."},{"id":363,"type":"general","setup":"Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?","punchline":"Because it's indivisible."},{"id":364,"type":"general","setup":"Why do pirates not know the alphabet?","punchline":"They always get stuck at \"C\"."},{"id":365,"type":"general","setup":"Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?","punchline":"They have no hands to knock on the door."},{"id":366,"type":"general","setup":"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?","punchline":"Because if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat."},{"id":367,"type":"general","setup":"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?","punchline":"Dunno, they're just a bit shady."},{"id":368,"type":"general","setup":"Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups?","punchline":"Because they can't even."},{"id":369,"type":"general","setup":"Why do wizards clean their teeth three times a day?","punchline":"To prevent bat breath!"},{"id":370,"type":"general","setup":"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?","punchline":"Because they're so good at it."},{"id":371,"type":"general","setup":"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?","punchline":"Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan."},{"id":372,"type":"general","setup":"Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?","punchline":"Because it's a little meteor."},{"id":373,"type":"general","setup":"Why does it take longer to get from 1st to 2nd base, than it does to get from 2nd to 3rd base?","punchline":"Because there’s a Shortstop in between!"},{"id":374,"type":"general","setup":"Why does Norway have barcodes on their battleships?","punchline":"So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian."},{"id":375,"type":"general","setup":"Why does Superman get invited to dinners?","punchline":"Because he is a Supperhero."},{"id":376,"type":"general","setup":"Why does Waldo only wear stripes?","punchline":"Because he doesn't want to be spotted."},{"id":377,"type":"programming","setup":"Knock-knock.","punchline":"A race condition. Who is there?"},{"id":378,"type":"programming","setup":"What's the best part about TCP jokes?","punchline":"I get to keep telling them until you get them."},{"id":379,"type":"programming","setup":"A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.","punchline":"A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t."},{"id":380,"type":"programming","setup":"There are 10 kinds of people in this world.","punchline":"Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke."},{"id":381,"type":"general","setup":"Two guys walk into a bar . . .","punchline":"The first guy says \"Ouch!\" and the second says \"Yeah, I didn't see it either.\""},{"id":382,"type":"programming","setup":"What did the router say to the doctor?","punchline":"It hurts when IP."},{"id":383,"type":"programming","setup":"An IPv6 packet is walking out of the house.","punchline":"He goes nowhere."},{"id":384,"type":"programming","setup":"A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.","punchline":"Bartender says, \"here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!\""},{"id":385,"type":"programming","setup":"3 SQL statements walk into a NoSQL bar. Soon, they walk out","punchline":"They couldn't find a table."},{"id":386,"type":"general","setup":"I saw a nice stereo on Craigslist for $1. Seller says the volume is stuck on ‘high’","punchline":"I couldn’t turn it down."},{"id":387,"type":"general","setup":"My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.","punchline":"I had to draw my own conclusions."}]